usually this is one of my favorite times of year. i adore a fresh start. i love lists. me + new year's = true love. this year...not so much. i haven't been very motivated to clean my apartment or make resolutions, and i'm not sure why. last year at this time i deep cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, stocked my fridge with healthy snacks, and had pages of ideas and inspiration for resolutions written in my journal. yesterday i decided to "get it together" in terms of food and went hunting for my kitchen scale so i could weigh some cheddar i planned on including in my healthy breakfast attempt (it was healthy, i swear!) and don't worry, i found that scale...buried under--no exaggeration--six bags of christmas candy. NOT AN EXAGGERATION. it felt very symbolic. a good intention of several months ago buried deep below impulses and conveniences of today. story. of. my life.
so maybe it's time for some resolutions. as usual, once i can see the impending end of my vacation i am inspired to spring into action and desperately wish i had more time to do so. if only i had this whole week off, i'd really show the gym who is boss. BUT, if i DID have the whole week off i would feel no pressure to go to the gym. resolution catch-22.
there are things i did really well in 2013. in fact, from about april on, 2013 was almost 100% amazing. there were a few hiccups (two full months of a job i hated, family drama, etc), but overall--pretty great. 2014 has the potential to be just as incredible, if not better, than the second half of 2013. this is the year i work a full year at a job i love. this is the year i get married to my best friend. this is the year i am not so exhausted/depressed that i can enjoy all 52 weekends. i want to focus on continuing to do the great things from the past year, as well as add in new goals.
1. positivity about the way i look and feel
my inclination is to set a large, pounds based goal to lose this year. i'm getting married in october and i would love to be thin and beautiful and float down the aisle in my dainty wedding dress. the reality is, i'm not going to lose 50 pounds by then (nor do i necessarily want to), so i'm going to focus on exercising more and eating better foods. i want to go to the gym more days than not. i want to alternate between cardio, strength training, and yoga/pilates. i want to cook more and eat healthier snacks and plan ahead of time so i'm not ordering enchiladas at 7:30 because i'm too hungry to cook and there's nothing in the refrigerator anyway. i want to feel good in my clothes and have more energy.
2. deal with tasks when they come up
i have a weird relationship with procrastination. i get anxiety about tasks that don't seem like such a big deal. for example, my parents sent me a check for my birthday in november and i haven't deposited it yet. why not? i walk past the bank EVERY DAY on my way home from work! my principal emails a weekly newsletter about what is going on in the upcoming week. i get stressed when it pops into my inbox. why?! there is nothing in it that is even remotely stressful AND i love my principal. when something has to get done, i want to work on just facing it...like the math plans i need to prepare for tomorrow...
3. make plans with friends
there are some friends i see pretty regularly, but mostly i just lay on the couch with mike. i love relaxing on the weekends, and i don't feel guilty about spending saturday AND sunday in pajamas, but i also love spending time with friends. i need to make an effort to connect more with the friends i don't see all of the time. this includes visiting friends who live in other cities. as i've gotten older, leaving the city feels like a bigger and bigger hassle. and honestly, it is, but i have friends living all over the east coast that i don't see unless they come here, and that is pretty ridiculous.
4. fall back in love with new york
i really do love it here, but i honestly could probably live almost anywhere considering how little advantage i take of the city. i would definitely miss the subway and the bodega on every corner and not having to drive anywhere, but there is so much more to new york than that (obviously). i want to do two or three new, or old favorite, activities per month. i want to make dinner and brunch plans. i want to have iconic new york experiences.
