none of your sass

yesterday i had an extremely frustrating experience with a business.  i had made an appointment, which was canceled two days before (totally get it, things happen).  i rescheduled and then, like clockwork, it was cancelled again two days beforehand.  when i called to reschedule i was annoyed, but then even more angry when i learned that there wasn't a single appointment available for almost two weeks! needless to say i went home last night and wrote several agitated emails.  today i received a response from the director of the business, and he was BARELY apologetic.  he "apologized" that i had such a "frustrating experience booking something as ordinary as a facial", and he reiterated how successful the business was and how many clients they see within the course of a month.  he offered a complimentary treatment that was totally unrelated to my original booking, but never truly apologized for twice canceling my appointment with no explanation and little time to rebook in the immediate future.  when i got his email i was extremely upset, but not for the reasons one might think.  yes, i later riled myself up about what a bs "apology" it was, but i was more upset that my immediate response was to feel like maybe I was wrong or out of line, and maybe I acted too quickly in being upset.

this is an issue that i have, and friends have also expressed a similar sentiment.  while i expect to be treated with respect, i don't always demand it.  i allow other people to make me feel like i am in the wrong or my feelings are unwarranted.  it's the feeling of being reprimanded as a little kid, and i have no idea where it comes from.  even though i hate when people immediately get on the defensive and escalate any and all situations in the name of "respect," there is a part of me that envies them.  under no circumstances will they allow someone to treat them with anything less than 100% respect.  they feel (or act like they feel) confident about their decisions, and they aren't afraid to show it.

increased confidence and standing up for myself are two things that i am working on as i move into my mid-30s. (side note: my british friend says that "i'm working on me" is "so american")  i wrote an email back to that director, and called him out on not apologizing or taking responsibility for HIS poor organization and communication, as well as treating my frustration with "booking something as ordinary as a facial" as trivial.  i don't really care if he writes back, or apologizes, or makes changes within his business, but i feel better that i stood up for myself in some small way.