lately i have been really into going to the gym in the morning. my day starts at 8:40 now, and my job is halfway between my house and my gym, so it's a pretty easy commute. i wake up only slightly earlier than i woke up every day last year and my workout is over by 7:00 a.m. this morning i woke up and almost went back to bed three separate times! it is a miracle i made it to the bus stop.
when i walked outside the sun had just come up and i couldn't help but feel grateful. last year at 7:15 a.m. i would have already been at work. i might have been waiting on the steps for the custodian to let me in the building (because i'm crazy and had to get to work an hour early). mornings were such an anxious time for me and no matter how late i stayed or how early i arrived, i never felt fully prepared for the day.
things are so different now. when it comes to anything in life--apartments, jobs, friends, neighborhoods--when you are in the right place, you can just feel it. i was so unhappy last year but i know it's because my job and i were no longer a good fit. just thinking about the day i'd had or the day that was starting would turn my stomach. i fell into the trap of spending my work time waiting for the moment when i could go home, and my home time dreading what i had to do for work. that is no way to live! but now...seriously. i am where i belong. i think that i will probably stay at this job for as long as i live in new york city. when i'm at work i'm happy. when i go home i'm happy. that's not to say i don't get stressed or feel overwhelmed, but it feels completely different. it isn't this cloud hanging over me all day every day.
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