oh don't cry

today was rough.  i loved my outfit, got to work bright and early, and had everything ready to go for the day.  things just didn't go the way that i had hoped.  my second, more "lively" class had a full scale riot when they entered the room and their seating arrangement had been changed.  if we had been on a ship they would have thrown me overboard.  i am not going to lie--i was telling my co-workers in the office about my day and started to cry and then had to spend 15 minutes in the bathroom splashing cold water on my face and fanning myself because my post-cry face is not easy to mask.  i think next time i'll take a picture of it to post.  long story short, i had a bad day, but i spent about 20 minutes just chatting with of my students.  i have to remember that when all is said and done, i really do like what i do.  i need to keep myself in a positive mental space, even if that means i need a change of atmosphere.  maybe i just have the winter blues considering my last two posts have been such downers.

oh get out?

this morning was one of those days that made me want to turn around, pack up my things, and leave new york for good.  don't get me wrong--i love love LOVE this city, but every once in awhile it drives me absolutely insane.  i stood in the pouring rain waiting for a bus (that never came) and then walked 15 minutes to the train.  i was so mad and i couldn't believe i stood outside, freezing my butt off, soaking wet--just to go to work...a place where i don't want to go in the first place!  i wished i could turn around, change out of my wet clothes and go back to sleep.
am i the only one who ever feels that way about new york city?  certain things just drive me crazy about living here.  they have yet to outweigh the good, but still.

1) i would love to go to the movies without having to get there at least 45 minutes early.  mike and i went to chicago last summer and on a night when we were especially wiped we decided to see batman.  people casually strolled in as close as 15 minutes to showtime and there were still plenty of seats!  if you get to a movie 15 minutes before it starts in new york you are either sitting in the front row or on the steps.
2) concerts.  every single person goes to every single concert.  they are all taller than me and they are all wearing backpacks.
3) commuting.  i would love--LOVE--to arrive at work looking as good as i did when i left the house.  there are about 4 days over the course of the whole year when this happens and i think they are all in mid fall.  i'm either sweating or soaking wet or wearing hideous yet comfortable shoes.
4) getting out of town.  i love that i don't have to drive pretty much ever.  i actually don't even really like to drive.  sometimes, though, i feel totally trapped.  unless i want to travel by bus, it costs at least $100 to get out of town for the weekend.

new york, i love you.  but i definitely need a couple of beautiful saturdays to remind myself why.

oh get positive

tonight is my last night of february vacation.  of the vacations i've had over the past few years, this has probably been one of the best.  it was a great combination of productive and relaxing.  i got a massage, went to the nail salon, cleaned my apartment and read a ton.  staying in town sometimes causes me to feel stir crazy, and leaving town sometimes makes me feel like i didn't have enough time off.  this week was perfectly balanced.  what is even better is that i don't feel suicidal at the thought of going back to work tomorrow.  i've been getting myself into a better head space about work, and have planned some changes to implement in the classroom starting this week.  i'm also excited thinking about how march (and spring!) are right around the corner.

this photo was taken last year on my walk home from the gym.  the arrival of spring seems to happen when i least expect it and then all of a sudden i notice that all of the trees on 5th avenue are in bloom and i wonder how long i went without noticing.  i'm looking forward to longer days, warmer temperatures and spending more time outside instead of my (cozy) cave of an apartment.

oh get moving

i took an unplanned mini-break from my couch to 5k work while i was preparing for/on my juice cleanse, but now i am back in it.  even though i am NOT a "runner" i felt like a 5k was the kind of goal that i could achieve.  starting off was actually pretty easy because, while not able to run long distances, i am not a total couch potato.  i go to the gym an average of twice per week, i walk 20 minutes to and from the subway each morning, and i don't sit at a desk.  all of the those factors made the first couple of weeks of the program pretty easy for me.  i am now into the final couple of weeks and instead of running 3-5 minutes at a time, there are days when i'm running 10-20 minutes straight.  my sister bought me an ipod shuffle for christmas which has been a lifesaver, but i definitely needed a little more inspiration to get me into my gym clothes and on the treadmill 3 days per week.  this is how i function: when my apartment is messy, i look at home design blogs or watch movies with amazing design (like royal tenenbaums) to inspire me to clean.  i found that i always wanted to work out at 10:00 at night after watching the biggest loser so i started watching it on netflix to push me to go to the gym and continue the episode.  working out is not easy for me.  my couch is very comfortable and there are many distractions in my apartment and things to cross of my to-do list that get in the way of my fitness goals.  to counteract this, i decided to buy haruki murakami's book: what i talk about when i talk about running.  murakami is my favorite author and i have read all of his novels.  i figured that since i am already inspired by his writing style, i might also be inspired by his love of running.
so far it is working.  murakami has such an easygoing way of talking about it--like he just decided to start running at 33 and so he just does.  i think that is an idea that i am trying to adopt in my own life: if i decide to do something, just do it.  like, why not, right?  over the next two weeks i will be running 30-35 minutes at least 3 times per week.  after the couch to 5k program is over i am just going to push myself to run a little more every day.  my goals are to comfortably run a 5k this summer (i signed up for the color run with some friends in july!) and then to push myself to be able to run 5 miles without keeling over.

oh get cleansed

i basically had a stomach ache for the entire month between thanksgiving and christmas.  holiday parties, birthdays, drinks with friends "before the new year" (which always ended with me eating pizza for dinner)...there was no end to my consumption.  i decided that in the new year i would get back to tracking with weight watchers, use couch to 5k to get into jogging, and do a juice cleanse.  the juice cleanse was less about weight loss and more about resetting my system.  i was also very nervous about it because 1) i couldn't imagine not eating for 3 days and 2) i don't really like juice.

 

i decided to order the blueprint cleanse because a blogger i follow did it, they had a "beginner" level, and they have really fantastic and attractive marketing.  

blueprint recommends preparing for three days by cutting out meat, dairy, caffeine and alcohol.  i had cut coffee out of my diet in october after some serious caffeine withdrawal headaches, and i had been doing weight watchers since the beginning of the month, so i was already in pretty good shape as far as restraint was concerned.  

day 1

i had my hot lemon water and was basically procrastinating that first green juice.  it seemed like a really intense way to start my cleanse!  i would have preferred to start with the pineapple-apple-mint or the spicy lemonade.  the green juice was not as scary as i thought.  it definitely had an intense after taste so i will admit to not breathing through my nose as i drank. the rest of the juices were decent.  the pineapple-apple-mint was a little too sweet, i really liked the lemonade, the apple-carrot-beet was on par with the green juice, and the cashew was kind of chalky.  i didn't quite finish this juice because i had taken it to the movies (in my cooler bag!) but it tasted kind of gross when it was no longer cold.  i wasn't hungry at all and experienced none of the side effects listed.  i took a VERY long nap in the afternoon but i think that fatigue was based more on being tired from my work week, not from the juice. 

day 2

this is the day i was most nervous about.  from the reviews i had read, it sounded like most people were excited for day 1 so they didn't feel hungry or cranky, but that day 2 was really difficult because they wanted real food.  for me, day 2 was no different than day 1 except i actually liked all of the juices more.  i'm convinced that the reason i have been side-effect free is because i gave up coffee so long ago.  i think i would be a mess right now had i tried to give up caffeine 4 days ago.  i also think the veggies/fruit only prep helped me because, honestly, i was hungrier then than i have been on the cleanse.  tomorrow will be my last cleanse day, but my first day at work while on the cleanse. 

day 3

this was my only day at work while cleansing.  the green juice, while not horrible while lounging in my pajamas watching west wing on netflix on sunday morning was very difficult to face at 6:00 in the morning.  because i stand and talk all day at work, it was harder to hydrate i felt a little lightheaded a few times.  by the time i was down to my last two juices i had really come to enjoy the red juice and i decided that i didn't really like the cashew milk as much as everyone else did.  i appreciated that it made me feel more "full" than the other juices, but my preference was for the more refreshing juices.

overall it was a positive experience and i'm thinking about doing another one before summer starts.  i've lost some weight and i definitely feel lighter and smaller.